Please take notice that any animals showing up for an interview in a clever human costume will not be considered for employment. Fool me once, shame on me . . .
Do you know what its like to work at a place like Google or Amazon with amazing work conditions, fantastic pay and requires little to no work? No, neither do we, but, we like to
think our business is a little slice of heaven.
Now that we have your attention, lets talk about the job opening we have. We have an immediate opening in our online distribution company to do more stuff than we can fit in this ad. Whats online distribution? Its a fancy way of saying that we sell stuff online. No physical store, just a warehouse, office and computers to help you make the magic happen.
Your main job is to make our Managers and CEOs life easier. In exchange for this, you, ah, well, get paid!
Your responsibilities would be varied and numerous, so its not a boring job, but to give you an idea, we might have you working on:
- Keeping a blog, Facebook and Twitter pages up to date with interesting information, articles, specials
- Editing products and other information on our eCommerce site or,
- Working on Facebook promotions and analyzing their effectiveness or,
- Working on an email promotion or,
- Doing new product research
- Keeping track of our inventory
Dont worry, youll be fully indoctrinated, er, ah, we mean properly trained.
Youll spend a good amount of time working with e-commerce software. No worries, as you will be fully trained, you just need:
- Some computer skills and,
- The ability to learn
You do not need practical knowledge of our business model.
Sounds like a lot of computer work, doesnt it? Well, it is! Therefore, were looking for someone that is:
- Really, really comfortable working on a computer for lengthy periods of time.
- At a minimum, you should keyboard at 45 wpm and exhibit skills commensurate with being comfortable in the online environment and with social networking.
- Previous SEO, eCommerce and online marketing experience might be a plus if you promise to do things our way and not bugger everything up.
Now, this doesnt mean you have to know everything there is to know about social networking, email campaigns, online distribution, etc. Were willing to train the right person. There are numerous software programs that we will train you on.
Well give you a graduate degree worth of experience concerning selling products and marketing online.
There is lots of room for advancement into management or cross training into other areas, etc. Did I mention bonuses? We have a history of distributing bonuses as important
milestones are achieved.
If youre still reading this, that means you probably recognize this as one of those special jobs that only comes around once every so often.
Some of the skills you need are:
- English as a first language or a strong second
- Excellent use of written English grammar.
- Attention to detail, and the ability to work unsupervised.
Therefore, when you respond to this position answer the following questions:
- Why are you interested in this job and not one of the others you read right before it?
- What is it about you that should motivate us to interview you?
- Have you ever had a job that exceeded your capacity for work? If Yes, how did you handle it?
(If No, how do you think you would handle such an environment?)
- Have you ever stabbed your supervisor? If so, its not immediately disqualifying, we just want to be prepared.
The position is full time; thats 40 hours per week, with a starting/training wage thats negotiable (depending on experience), however, there are no benefits, but youll get to work
with the finest people in the known universe, really!
Okay, so how do you apply?
Easy -
- Reply with Bat Crazy in the subject line.
- Send your resume and reply with all requested information from above.
If youre the real deal, well be thrilled silly to hear from you! We will review every submission that is received in accordance with the procedure stated above.
If you dont hear from us, well, you know - dont make me say it, but we probably hired someone else, sigh. If it makes you feel better we could tell you that we will keep your resume on file, but we really dont do that.
Full training is provided. We are willing to accommodate the right person. What are you waiting for, apply now!
Itll be fun, really; maybe!
About the recuiterMember since May 20, 2018 Apr Paradise
from Manitoba, Canada
Candidate shortlisted and hired
Hiring open till - Jul 3, 2018
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